my holidays were never been productive since the very first day of my year end hols. im sucks in planning my hols schedule as you could see im busy in doing others stuffs except sitting in front of my desk studying and doing exercise etc.. im going to have such big trouble on me if i still going on with this lifestyle. seriously dead. and still i still have tons of stuffs that i havent deal with it, personal issues and inner feelings. somehow that's hard to explain from the beginning till the end. so i rather buried it deep down in my heart and never reveals it to someone.
everyone has been through 2012 and yes i did it too. 12 months and maybe 365 days, i keep on repeating the same steps the same way as i always used to it. on how i manage to deal with all those hardships and experience. i never wanted to move on way further and think about such questions. about relationships with friends, communication and social, prepare for examinations, school works, project and unseen pressure. it's giving me a lesson and i probably think that it is a good time for me to handle it with care and work things out.
year by year and I'm getting exhausted. i dont wanna get any older and older that's way too scary. it fears me when people grow old, problems that they have to deal with is increasing. but i know im talking crap because thats impossible. facing the facts of reality life is much more cruel. people will be like, you are just a teenager so try to be more innocent and not to be so serious. oh please im a human being and that's my responsibility to decide my life and my bright future. i would believe that things are going around and around. what you did either bad or good will hit you back one day but not instantly.
and another problem is, i dont know who i can befriends with. this world is so much realistic so never be too late to find out the truth. friends? i dont own much of them. im not those popular and pretty girls. and yes, those girls love to show off their boobs and trying to be sexy but their just same age of mine. sorry for my sarcasm, in my opinion, showing off boobs doesnt mean you are sexy and it makes people feels like you are a horrible slut. you can be sexy in many ways and remember, always be confidence and thats a girl best accessories. back to the title, i admit, im not a good friend actually. so they should be hating on me. when i like you i may be treat you differently , friendly and kindly. and once im doing this and shit is coming on his way. and yea i cared too much, and things getting worse and worse. i knew that it was my fault. whatever i do, it's useless so i better do nothing and wait till it comes. ( im not pointing this towards anyone else this is just my point of view). but luckily i still have the oh-so-amazingggg friend besides me. im thankful with your existence. so this a new lesson that i had learnt.
'CARE LESS HURT LESS'
much loves, ameeelia.